Weary and Out of Rhythm

Entering into the third trimester I have been excitedly anticipating the arrival of our baby but also feeling very, very tired. I felt tired during the first trimester but this time around I am also feeling the busyness of preparations, childbirth classes, home projects and Drs appts. All good things but for someone who equates physical tiredness with emotional tiredness sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.

To combat this I have been trying to get good sleep, and rest when I need to. Last night was the second night in a row that I was in bed at 9:45 and the first night in a LONG time that I slept through the night without multiple bathroom trips. When I woke for the first time and rolled over to see 5:55 I couldn't believe it.

I happily crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I know 5:55 is early but is sure beats a 2:00am bathroom break. I crawled back into bed and when Adam woke up at 6:30 I told him what a great night's sleep I had. Almost 8 straight hours. Now I didn't jump out of bed, but I did say a prayer of thanks and got out by 7.

I did my morning walk on the treadmill and headed to the shower. In the shower I found myself focusing on feelings of tiredness and being overwhelmed again. I twice reminded myself that I had a great night sleep and I should feel great but I still struggled with this feeling. I was balancing that with knowing I needed to grocery shop and get things done before going to work but it still felt heavier than usual.

Getting dressed I did a mental/emotional check in and realized it had been a few days since I had sat down intentionally to do my devotions and set aside time to listen. As I sit here in my comfy chair, mug in hand of course I am amazed at what a difference it makes in my life to recognize and make time for the rhythms that I need. Now I know I am type A and I don't mean to schedule every minute of my life but there are a few "should be non-negotiables" that when I stray from cause problems.

They are:
- quiet time and devotions- this has looked different for me in various seasons of my life but before going to Israel I had prayed for a hunger for reading the Bible and God placed a new sense of wonder and anticipation in my heart as I read. It's difficult to cultivate this without taking the time to read the Bible! Also I am a person who needs a Bible Study. Beth Moore studies have been some of my favorites and as I am working through her Daniel study I recognize that I am to be growing in my faith and ability to listen to God.

- exercise- used to be running now at 32.5 weeks pregnant it's fast walking and prenatal yoga :). Over the years people have commented to me about running and not understanding why or how I do it consistently. It is not out of a virtuous place let me tell you, I would go crazy without it. Case in point, if I ever seem stir crazy or anxious at home Adam looks at me and kindly asks if I have run today. That's my cue to do a self check and put on the running shoes. Running itself isn't magical. But for me it is a place where I can either work through thoughts or leave them in my driveway as I hit the road. It is also a time for me to open my eyes and look around, being reminded it isn't all about me!

- time with Adam- As I said in an earlier post besides time with God, Adam is my grounding person. He is a good listener and has an uncanny ability to balance me out and make me laugh when I am too serious. If we have been running around too much with activities and commitments both of us feel disconnected.  We work to maintain a good balance of us and other things. I know this will look different after we become parents but I am fiercely committed to it looking different but not getting forgotten or devalued.

- time with family and friends- I am soo blessed to have awesome family and friends who fill my cup constantly and also thankfully allow me into their lives as well. Whether it is over a coffee cup at Biggby, the phone or a meal out I need these times to be loved and love. God has taught me over the years that although my profession as a counselor means I listen and help clients, I also need to share and let people into my life. It has been a humbling learning experience but thankfully He has provided me with amazing people to "let in."

After processing this I find myself saying, "Meg why do you let yourself get out of these life giving rhythms?" And I think part of the answer is that when things seem busy I have a tendency to shrink my perspective and focus on the task things of life and base a day on what I got done etc.

So in true unconventional year fashion I am going to use this processing to remind myself to live in moments and keep my gaze wide so that I can see when I am relying on my own strength and hopefully get back on track quicker next time.

Headed out to grocery shop. Should be a great time to practice...

Babymoon, a success!

Before Adam and I embarked on this last trip before baby arrival we had a few goals for using our time. They included: connecting with one another outside of our craziness at home, baby/maternity shopping, seeing and experiencing the city, time with friends, good food and RESTING. 

I am pleased to say we accomplished them all!

     

Lunch at the Grand Lux Cafe. I ordered a berry fizz and it was delicious. Brunch hit the spot for both of us. I had eggs and toast and Adam got strawberry french toast. YUM!

For our "night out" we went to a steak house for dinner and the to the play To Master the Art. It was the story of Julia Child and her husband in France. Adam had found the tickets and we had a great time. 

Outside the Shedd Aquarium. We both hadn't been there since we were kids so it was fun to explore together and see all the animals. 

One of the highlights was meeting friends to go out on the town. They planned and took us to the Signature Room in the John Hancock building and then to Lux Bar for a great dinner. This pic is from the 96th floor overlooking Chicago. It was BEAUTIFUL and we couldn't have gotten a better table. THANKS K and C for a great time!!

We did fit in some shopping as well. Adam was a real trooper and I purchased some maternity clothes and a hospital bag. A HOSPITAL BAG! It is crazy to think that I will be packing that soon in anticipation of our little one's arrival in about 8 weeks. 

As we wave goodbye to Chicago it seems like an appropriate ending to a chapter. Not to the end of adventures, as we spent a lot of time on our trip talking about adventures as a family of 3 and our (hopeful) plans for next year. :)

But an end to the Giroux family of 2. 

It's been a great 7.5 years, I can't wait to see what the next one brings!

Week in Review

Ok, I know that I have been posting about my love for all things fall. But for the week in review I had to use a picture of these zinnias my mom brought me the other day. They make me happy every time I walk through the door and are a reminder of the summer that we had. 

Week in Review:

Monday, I had a fun time picking out glasses for my mom in the am and ended the day by getting a pedicure with one of my favs. Purple toenails are a great pick me up. And I can still see my toes, thank you very much!

Work was humbling this week. I felt very privileged that my clients let me into their stories and I get to be part of their healing and journey toward hope. I ended each work day thanking God for strength and words. 

Coffee Wed night with P. Good conversation and a reminder of how important people are to me. I get energized by my relationships and am so fortunate for the people in my life. 

Thank goodness I was energized when I left coffee because I headed home to pack for our long weekend in Chicago. This always seems to happen that I have the best of intentions to pack days in advance but always end up hauling out the suitcase the night (9:30pm) before we have to leave early in the morning. Olive is a good packing companion and with my somewhat limited maternity wardrobe it wasn't too hard to throw all things cute into the suitcase and then try to zip it up. 

Thursday we arrived in Chicago and after a 2 hour nap in the hotel took the city by storm. Well, almost 8 months pregnant by storm, but we were still able to do a little shopping and enjoyed time together exploring. 

Tonight it's dinner with close friends...what a great way to end the week!

Time on the Trail

Me and my jog/walking buddy Olive post walk

Just when I was getting excited for fall weather we get two high 80's days in a row. Nevertheless, I was determined to get out and jog/walk this morning because we are going out of town this weekend which means great food and no walking. 

I loaded us up in the car and drove to the trail a few minutes from our house. As I went to grab my Iphone I realized I had forgotten my headphones. I didn't think much of it but was a little annoyed I wasn't going to be able to listen to pandora on my walk. To get to the trail we have to walk over this stone path and as I made my way over the rocks I was suddenly reminded of the sermon at church on Sunday. Our pastor is doing a year long series based on the book, Naked Spirituality by Brian McLaren. 

Sunday's sermon was around the word here and we were challenged to pray this prayer and go on a walk to connect with nature. 

Here I am.

Here You are. 

Here we are together.

The message was about recognizing that God is with us in this place wherever we are and whether we recognize it or not. As I bent down to pick up my rock for the walk I was thankful for the pause and reminder that I could just go for a walk, my plan, or I could acknowledge God's presence with me and open my eyes to what that meant for the day. 

I didn't have any huge revelations on the walk but I did have a less hurried and distracted sense as I walked. Instead of concentrating on efficiency I looked around me and instead of worrying about the day I found my thoughts drifting to family and things important to my heart. 

At the end of the walk Olive was happy to be back to the car. As I climbed in and saw my Iphone sitting in the passenger seat I was thankful for the times that my plan gets waylaid for a better one.

It's Fall!

Yay! I love fall. A close friend told me that since fall is my favorite season it means that I: thrive with structure and routine (check) and like predictability (check again). I would also add that I love fall food and the traditions behind them. Case in point, I stopped on the way home from coffee today to pick up Robinette's pumpkin spice doughnuts and apple cider. 

Nothing says fall better than pumpkin flavored food and hot apple cider.

Also, nothing says pregnant momma like food cravings and counting down the weeks. We are just under 10 weeks and I have a new sense of anticipation as this is the same amount of time that I am taking off work after the birth of our baby. 

I have loved pregnancy and the anticipation of growing our family, but am also starting to feel more "pregnancy symptoms." I now roll, literally, out of bed each morning as sitting up is not working anymore.  Putting on socks has become somewhat of an athletic endeavor as I try to bend over without feeling nauseous or falling over, and I sound like I am constantly climbing stairs when talking due to shortness of breath. 

To balance out these negative experiences our little peanut consistently reminds me that s/he is there with jabs and kicks rivaling a pro soccer team, all at once. I mentioned to my mom I was a little concerned about the activity level of our little one and she just started laughing and reminded me that I don't tend to sit still well. That's true, but I always pictured our Baby G as chill. I might need to start rethinking my picture or hope that s/he takes a little more after Adam. :)

Labor Day Moments

As I sit here in my comfy chair I relish the crisp "fall is approaching air" and sip on ginger beer (for a mild case of heartburn :). Adam and I took today as a free day being the holiday and all and tried to connect with what we most enjoy. The day started with a family walk, including Olive, and then we were off on a Meg driven quest to find coffee and a new doughnut place in downtown GR. 

I had been talking about doing this for a few days and Adam admitted this morning that he had a dream I called him on his way home from work about bringing me home the perfect doughnut. Needless to say, this hunt had been well anticipated by this preggo mama, so when we parked and trekked to where it was located I was crestfallen to see it was not open on Labor Day. Neither was the coffee place I was so looking forward to. 

I had a moment of defeat and then determined to have a good day, we settled on a constant and walked to Biggby because of course it was open. We had packed a bag full of "options" because although I love to read it had been difficult lately to get into a book so I also had the computer, notepad for lists (this is not my week to go listless, see unconventional year) and my Bible Study. I was delighted to find that I do LOVE reading but at home it is often outweighed by tasks I should be doing. 

Sitting in Biggby I read for an hour and a half with reckless abandon while sipping my coffee and then proceeded to share with Adam everything I was learning and pondering. He and I both have a habit of reading and sharing, usually while the other person is equally engrossed in what they are reading but he did take a break from his news to listen, nod and seem interested. I love that we have this routine and it reminded me that we both enjoy reading, learning and sharing with one another. 

That's a part of who we are.

Another part that I had been contemplating and feeling a bit guilty about lately is our tendency to spend a considerable amount of time just the two of us. I know that in the past 7.5 years of marriage I have developed a barometer per say and while I enjoy being social, having a full schedule and cherish our friends and family, there reaches a point where I feel that I just need a day with Adam to reorient and refuel. 

I am sure that my close friends and family see/feel this as it may seem we are busy or that I say no to things if that means being too busy during the week. It isn't that I don't LOVE my people and need these deeply important relationships its just that Adam grounds me in a way that no one else wants to do- trust me. When I sheepishly admitted this to him today by stating that sometimes I just needed to be around him because he always puts up with me he laughed and said, "that's what we do." I am sure we will be challenged in this area when we become a family of three but I know we can figure it out. 

We then headed to a new downtown market in GR and got to explore our city. It was so exciting to see all these new vendors and the energy around shopping local. The turnout was very busy and I felt like a wide-eyed kid walking around and taking in all the sights and smells. I am very excited to try this wine and charcuterie bar post baby arrival as the cheese and wine selection they had was amazing. Adam's eye landed on a local ice cream maker and we were surprised to see our friend working behind the counter as her brother in law is the mind behind the whole endeavor.

Lastly, we attempted to eat downtown but as earlier in the day most places were closed so we headed to a local favorite where we knew we could sit outside, you have to take advantage of these days in Michigan. Have I mentioned that I love to eat? Not in a just fill my hungry stomach way but in a seriously consider the menu and savor every bite. Well I do.

Adam was seated before me because as usual I had to use the restroom but it meant that I walked out scanning the dining area to see where he was seated and happened to notice two friends of ours who live in CO sitting down to lunch. It was such a treat to catch up with J&J as they just had their first child and it seemed like forever since I had been able to talk with them. As we sat down to lunch after catching up I was especially thankful for opportunities that come when I am not running a million miles a minute and try to notice the little things.

Tomorrow will be back to work as usual, but today was a gift, filled with moments and taking time to pay attention to what makes us tick.