Entering into the third trimester I have been excitedly anticipating the arrival of our baby but also feeling very, very tired. I felt tired during the first trimester but this time around I am also feeling the busyness of preparations, childbirth classes, home projects and Drs appts. All good things but for someone who equates physical tiredness with emotional tiredness sometimes it is a bit overwhelming.
To combat this I have been trying to get good sleep, and rest when I need to. Last night was the second night in a row that I was in bed at 9:45 and the first night in a LONG time that I slept through the night without multiple bathroom trips. When I woke for the first time and rolled over to see 5:55 I couldn't believe it.
I happily crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I know 5:55 is early but is sure beats a 2:00am bathroom break. I crawled back into bed and when Adam woke up at 6:30 I told him what a great night's sleep I had. Almost 8 straight hours. Now I didn't jump out of bed, but I did say a prayer of thanks and got out by 7.
I did my morning walk on the treadmill and headed to the shower. In the shower I found myself focusing on feelings of tiredness and being overwhelmed again. I twice reminded myself that I had a great night sleep and I should feel great but I still struggled with this feeling. I was balancing that with knowing I needed to grocery shop and get things done before going to work but it still felt heavier than usual.
Getting dressed I did a mental/emotional check in and realized it had been a few days since I had sat down intentionally to do my devotions and set aside time to listen. As I sit here in my comfy chair, mug in hand of course I am amazed at what a difference it makes in my life to recognize and make time for the rhythms that I need. Now I know I am type A and I don't mean to schedule every minute of my life but there are a few "should be non-negotiables" that when I stray from cause problems.
They are:
- quiet time and devotions- this has looked different for me in various seasons of my life but before going to Israel I had prayed for a hunger for reading the Bible and God placed a new sense of wonder and anticipation in my heart as I read. It's difficult to cultivate this without taking the time to read the Bible! Also I am a person who needs a Bible Study. Beth Moore studies have been some of my favorites and as I am working through her Daniel study I recognize that I am to be growing in my faith and ability to listen to God.
- exercise- used to be running now at 32.5 weeks pregnant it's fast walking and prenatal yoga :). Over the years people have commented to me about running and not understanding why or how I do it consistently. It is not out of a virtuous place let me tell you, I would go crazy without it. Case in point, if I ever seem stir crazy or anxious at home Adam looks at me and kindly asks if I have run today. That's my cue to do a self check and put on the running shoes. Running itself isn't magical. But for me it is a place where I can either work through thoughts or leave them in my driveway as I hit the road. It is also a time for me to open my eyes and look around, being reminded it isn't all about me!
- time with Adam- As I said in an earlier post besides time with God, Adam is my grounding person. He is a good listener and has an uncanny ability to balance me out and make me laugh when I am too serious. If we have been running around too much with activities and commitments both of us feel disconnected. We work to maintain a good balance of us and other things. I know this will look different after we become parents but I am fiercely committed to it looking different but not getting forgotten or devalued.
- time with family and friends- I am soo blessed to have awesome family and friends who fill my cup constantly and also thankfully allow me into their lives as well. Whether it is over a coffee cup at Biggby, the phone or a meal out I need these times to be loved and love. God has taught me over the years that although my profession as a counselor means I listen and help clients, I also need to share and let people into my life. It has been a humbling learning experience but thankfully He has provided me with amazing people to "let in."
After processing this I find myself saying, "Meg why do you let yourself get out of these life giving rhythms?" And I think part of the answer is that when things seem busy I have a tendency to shrink my perspective and focus on the task things of life and base a day on what I got done etc.
So in true unconventional year fashion I am going to use this processing to remind myself to live in moments and keep my gaze wide so that I can see when I am relying on my own strength and hopefully get back on track quicker next time.
Headed out to grocery shop. Should be a great time to practice...
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